


Every time it Rains

by orchidwai_hunho



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Coffee Shops, Drama & Romance, M/M, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-07-17 19:26:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16102220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orchidwai_hunho/pseuds/orchidwai_hunho
Summary: It was raining when Junmyun decided to end things with Chanyeol. It was also raining when something new starts again with Sehun.





	1. Character Introduction

Kim Junmyun

Age : 26

Family Background : Parents are professors

Career : Managing a small coffee chain business

 

Park Chanyeol

Age : 24

Family Background : Orphan. Quite wealthy.

Career : Law school drop-out

 

Oh Sehun

Age : 23

Family Background : Chaebol

Career : (soontobe) Lawyer


	2. Rain

## 2 Years Ago

 

 

This is not just momental thing, you know? Junmyun just, feel anything anymore for Chanyeol. It has been 11 months. Just a few more weeks and they are going to hit their 1 year anniversary mark. Shouldn’t he feel something about that? Like excitement? But now he doesn’t know what he is supposed to feel. Junmyun is starting to doubt everything.

 

It was a rainy day.

 

Everything starts with rains. He met Chanyeol on the rainy day.

That’s how their story starts about a year ago. Chanyeol is perfect. Tall, deep voice, romantic and caring. Who is in the sound-mind and 24 years old guy wouldn’t fall for him? So Junmyun fell. They were fast friends and fast lovers.

Everyone envy Junmyun for getting younger and taller boyfriend.

 

Now is also raining.

Is it how they are going to end? On a rainy day? Is it too cruel of him to end their relationship on the rainy day like today? But what about sunny day? Is the weather going to make Chanyeol better? Junmyun looked above the dark sky through the window. He’s insides the cafe, dry and cool. He is waiting for Chanyeol to arrive, to end things…

 

But Junmyun brought an extra umbrella. He knows it’s not going to make him a better person. But he is not going to let Chanyeol soaked in the rain after he left. He planned what things to say. He doesn’t plan to lie though, even if it would save Chanyeol from more hurting.

 

Because lies always hurt more in the end.

 

There he is. Park Chanyeol who always smiles like a sunshine. Junmyun is staring at his boyfriend who is catching his breath and looking around the cafe to find him. Chanyeol finally saw Junmyun. There again, Chanyeol smile is like a sunshine in gloomy weather.

 

“Sorry, the traffic is real bad out there!” Chanyeol sat in front of Junmyun. Although Junmyun is older than Chanyeol by 2 years, Chanyeol never made Junmyun sounded old. If not needed, Chanyeol act casual around Junmyun, dropping the formalities.

The waitress come and take order. Chanyeol order an ice-americano as usual. No matter the weather, he ordered cool drink that always amaze Junmyun.

Junmyun is having a hot latte.

“Chanyeol-ah, I think I won’t be able to go to your uncle’s house this weekend. I’m sorry.”

 

Chanyeol does not have parents. Chanyeol is now final year law student. He is staying with his uncle family which is quite well-off.

“Really? Why?” Chanyeol was clearly disappointed.

 

They dated 11 months ago. Chanyeol has been mentioning this family since a month ago. Chanyeol’s mother had a younger sister. That younger sister is married off to the rich family. After Chanyeol’s parents passed away, that Oh family Chanyeol’s aunt married to is taking care of him.

Chanyeol would often mention how his uncle and aunt took great care of him and how cute his younger cousin is. That’s been fine. Junmyun didn’t mind listening. But when Chanyeol told Junmyun that he wants Junmyun to meet his family, Junmyun was frightened.

Maybe that set things off. Junmyun was dating Chanyeol just fine. Chanyeol is funny and reckless. Junmyun, himself is not that daring.

 

“Do you want to reschedule? Did something important came up?” Chanyeol asked again when Junmyun did not answer.

“Actually, I…” Junmyun looked right into Chanyeol’s large and soulful eyes. They were filled with concern.

Junmyun quickly looked down. He can’t say those words while looking straight into Chanyeol’s eyes.

“I want to break up with you. I’m sorry.”

 

“St-stop joking. My uncle family would understand if you couldn’t come. There’s always next time.” Chanyeol’s hand shook, Junmyun noticed. He carefully looked up at Chanyeol but Chanyeol is avoiding.

There is this long and uncomfortable silence between them. Chanyeol still would not look at him. When their order arrived, he sipped on the coffee but doesn’t say a word.

“Chanyeol, I’m sorry.”

“No.”

“Chanyeol…”

“I… don’t do this to me. You know what you meant to me.”

“I’m sorry. That’s why I can’t meet your family.”

“I don’t mean to you as much as you did, right?”

“Chanyeol-ah, it’s not true. I cared about you.”

“Then, don’t break up with me.”

Junmyun can’t answer. He just sighed out helplessly.

 

Junmyun was so scared of this. He knew Chanyeol would react badly. No matter how he give out the blow, nice or not nice, it would still hurt Chanyeol. He hurts Chanyeol and that’s the fact he cannot deny.

 

“Please say something. Hyung, do you… do you now have other guy? Girl?”

“No. No. Of course not. I wouldn’t do that to you.” Junmyun is fast to deny because it’s not true.

“Then why? What did I do wrong?”

“No Chanyeol. It’s… I just don’t feel the same way. You deserved better than me.” Junmyun could not do this anymore. This is cruelty. Chanyeol doesn’t deserve him, someone who doesn’t appreciate. Junmyun also doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. It’s just the way he feel.

 

“I’m sorry.”

Junmyun left the cash on the table as he stood up to leave.

“Don’t. Jun, don’t leave.” Chanyeol stood up as well, he stopped Junmyun, made him sat down again.

“Let me leave first.”

Junmyun sat down without a word. Maybe he should let Chanyeol have that, leaving him behind instead of seeing him leave.

 

“Take this. Please. Don’t catch a cold.” Junmyun hand out an extra umbrella he took. It’s large and perfect size for Chanyeol.

Chanyeol looked at Junmyun bitterly. He closed his eyes, holding down the tears which is already flowing down his face.

“You obviously cared about me. But still you don’t love me. Very well.” Chanyeol muttered to himself but Junmyun heard it.

 

Junmyun did not want to keep saying sorry. But one last time, he said,

“I’m sorry, Yeol.”

But Chanyeol is already leaving, taking the umbrella but not using it in the rain.

The guilt in Junmyun just worsened.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

## Rain (Present)

 

Junmyun did not like rainy days. And he hate today in particular. Today is such a busy day at cafe and his barista take a sudden leave. He has to put out a ‘close’ sign outsides to stop people from running in. Junmyun doesn’t want to do this but he needs a short break and he’s hungry.

After fixing himself up with simple sandwich, Junmyun sat down next to the window.

He hates to think while eating but seemed like his mind likes to act on its own. He thought of Chanyeol again. Junmyun blames himself for what happened 2 years ago. He is fine, he is not self-distracted or something like that but, the last moment with Chanyeol always pop up in his mind. And, he doesn’t date anymore.

 

Junmyun shook his head, and finished his sandwich. He’s running a cafe and it is successful. The last thing he has to worry about is money but right now, he needs to hire someone. He can’t keep filling in and he can’t always stay in the cafe.

He needs a part-timer.

The bell rang and Junmyun looks up from washing dishes.

 

“I know you put out a close sign but I saw you from outside, so I just came in.”

Junmyun couldn’t keep his eyes off. It’s strange. It has been 2 years since he felt such attraction to someone. That guy looks like he’s a college student. He dressed up simply but stylish. The black turtle-neck shirt looks great on him.

“How may I help you?”

“I’m looking for a part-time job. I can take orders. I am skilled barista. Are you in need of staff? I can even work on weekends. Please, help me out.”

 

If there’s something like fate, Junmyun would call ‘this moment’ fate. He thanked the gods above whomever looking over him. And plus, he’s very attractive. Attractive barista is always good for business.

“Let’s sit down and discuss. You’re lucky, we are short on staff.” Junmyun lead him to upstairs where his office is.

 

Junmyun offered him a seat which he took.

“Introduce yourself. It’s better if you can give your CV.”

“I will email you my CV later. My name is Oh Sehun. I finished my law school this year.”

“You… what?” Junmyun thought he’s 20 or maybe 19 even but he is graduated? With Law?

“I can work before 6 on weekdays. On weekends, from 4 to till late.”

“Sorry, did i mistaken? You said you finished law school?”

“Ah, that. Yes, I don’t want to work as a lawyer, yet. Besides, I wanted to work in a coffee shop since young.” Sehun smiled shyly.

“Hmm…”

Junmyun is not expected of that kind of part-timer. He noticed the broad shoulder of Sehun, setting square and straight. Sehun wouldn’t lose the eye-contact while he is speaking. Every little action shows him that Sehun is confident and not lacking money.

 

“How much pay did you expect from this job?”

“Ne? That, you can decide.”

“Normally, you can tell me your expected pay and I will decide. You seemed like you don’t need money.” Junmyun needs a part-timer but, he doesn’t need a rich jobless college boy messing around in his shop.

“Ne? I…”

“I will contact you. You can leave.”

“Do I get the job?” Junmyun stare straight into Sehun’s eyes. Junmyun saw the confidence and he saw a little bit of expectation. It is funny.

 

“Why do you think someone like you who isn’t in need of money but have plenty of time deserved this job than other people who actually needs money?”

“I… I need money.” Junmyun shook his head.

“How much is your shirt?” Junmyun pointed at Sehun.

“Ne?”

“What kind of restaurant he went to have lunch?”

“No… I mean,”

Junmyun doesn’t want to give him anymore of his precious time. He needs to re-open the shop.

 

“You don’t get the job because it is clear to me that you don’t need it. I am looking for someone who wants to work hard and also in need of this job. Not someone who is looking for a job to play around.” Junmyun stood up from his seat. Sehun also stood up.

“You are being unreasonable. My shirt is not that expensive and my mother bought it for me so I don’t know the price. If you want to know I can ask my mother. And I am not here to play around. I wanted to do proper job. You need staff and I can be that staff.”

“Please just go.” Junmyun doesn’t feel good to hear those things. He makes his way to the downstairs.

“No.”

Junmyun is stopped by the door, Sehun’s hand is on his forearm.

 

“What are you doing?”

“How about this? I can work here till you found that someone who really needs this job. I really want to work as a barista and I might not need money but I really need to work here.” Junmyun sighed out. He never met such stubborn person.

“Why? Why do you want to work here?”

“Can’t I just say I have my own reasons? Please, boss. I can work right now.” Junmyun really saw the desperation then. What Sehun offered is not bad either.

 

“Release me first.”  
“Sorry, boss.” Junmyun wants to laugh at Sehun lowering his head, putting his hand behind his back.

“Don’t call me boss. My name is Kim Junmyun. How old are you?”

“23.”

“I’m older so, just call me hyung.”

“Yes! Junmyun Hyung.” Junmyun smiled as the cheerful tone returned to Sehun.

“Show me your skills first. If you work well today, you’re hired.” Junmyun walked out of the office and he head to downstairs. Sehun followed.

“Yes, boss!”

“Aish!”

“Ah, mian, mian. Yes, Junmyun Hyung.” Junmyun tried not to smile as he hide his head, heading to the cafe.

 

Sehun seemed to do a good job if he forgot the three orders getting mixed up, making a decaf, non-sugar order to an extra-shot with sugar, or a sweetened one to no-sugar, and a latte to pure milk. Junmyun let this slide because it’s his first day and today is also such a busy day. He gave out 50% off coupon to satisfy the customers and warned Sehun that it will be taken from his pay.

 

“Junmyun Hyung, I am clocking out in 10 minutes.”

Junmyun looked at the watch on his wrist and the clock says 5:50pm. Junmyun didn’t remember what time Sehun starts exactly.

“It’s around 1pm you started right?”

“It’s 1:25.”

Junmyun almost smile at the details but he didn’t. He did the math.

 

“Here’s your pay.” Junmyun handed him out 30,000 won.

“I get paid on my first day?”

“Of course, do you think I would let you work for free?” This time Junmyun really laughed out loud.

“But still…”

“However, 10,500 won will be deducted.”

“Ah, ne.” Sehun lower his head down a bit. Since Junmyun is standing directly in front of Sehun, Sehun’s height is hoovering.

“Try not to make mistake next time, okay?”

“I’m sorry. I will be more careful.” Sehun bow again. Junmyun likes him already.

“Can you come tomorrow 11 am?”

“11am?” His head suddenly rise up and meet eyes with Junmyun. Junmyun blinked out of shock because he was checking Sehun out while Sehun is looking down.

“Not convenient?” Junmyun acts like nothing is wrong.

“I can come earlier.” It seemed Sehun didn’t notice. Junmyun turned around to go to the counter. He is thirsty.

“Really?”

“Since opening.”

“REALLY?” The water he is about to sip through pipe doesn’t meet his lips. He put down the thumblr as he looked at Sehun with appreciation.

“That’s good. Ok. Shop opens at 7am. Try not to be late. There’s regular barista, I will introduce to you tomorrow.”

“Yes, Hyung. See you tomorrow.” Sehun left with a smile and a polite bow. Junmyun can’t believe he let that rich kid work at his place.

 

Junmyun knows his coffee shop is the whole chain and not just shabby place in a corner. There are a lot that wants to work for him. He only takes care of two shop in the chain. This is the main one that he just let Sehun worked. Another is smaller at Jeju Island. That one is managed by his cousin who doesn’t want to work but had to because of his mother, Junmyun’s Aunt.

Junmyun looked outside and the rain has already stopped. He wondered will the rain comes tomorrow too?

 

~

 

It was cloudy and cold. Junmyun shivered in his large oversized sweater and jeans. He’s wearing two socks. Junmyun just can’t stand the cold. He doesn’t want to pull his hand out of his warm sweater pocket and exposed the cold air to unlock the door.

 

“Here. Give me.”

A large pair of hands compared to Junmyun arrived in front of him. Junmyun eyes followed through the hand and looked up at the man. It turns out to be Sehun.

“You’re early.”

 

Junmyun hand him over the key. Junmyun doesn’t touch Sehun’s hand. He does not know why but he tried a safe distance to give Sehun the keys. But Sehun’s hand close the distance as he grab both the keys and his fingers.

“You said not to be late.”

“But it’s only half past six.” Getting up early does not bother Junmyun. He usually got up early, go for a jog then shower to open up the cafe. It’s part of his routine but he still hates the cold morning after hot shower. But it’s strange that this morning just get better. Is it because of a good company or is it… warm hand that almost hold his cold hand?

 

“6:40 but, it’s good thing I am early right? I am unlocking for you.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

It’s all Junmyun could manage. He stared at his own feet, unable to talk. It’s strange. This feeling… that this simple action gives him.

Sehun opens the door as he waits for Junmyun to go in first. Without saying anything, Junmyun went in and start to go around to make the shop alive.

 

“Hyung.”

“Hmm?” Junmyun looks at Sehun who is arranging the chairs and tables.

 

“Could you make me a bew?”

“You said you are skilled barista.”

“It’s true but I wanted a taste of you. I mean, coffee.” With a redness of ears, Sehun quickly said. Junmyun thinks his heart just skip a beat but he acts cool.

“Sure.”

Junmyun doesn’t want to show his face heating after Sehun’s little misused of words. He turned around, pretending to prepare for something which is just washing some clean dishes. He calmed himself, he took a large breath.

 

“Hyung! I’m here.” Junmyun looked up to the sound. He was a little unstable. He was cleaning the portafilter but it was a little misdirected as his hand got burned instead of the tool. Junmyun screamed out due to pain.

 

“What happened?” Sehun ran towards Junmyun.

“You’re hurt.” Sehun saw the redden burn on back of Junmyun’s hand.

 

“Hyung!”

“It’s not that bad. I’m ok. I’m ok.” Junmyun is quick to reassure Kris and Sehun who is hovering over him.

“Why are you cleaning? That’s my job. Now you’re hurt.” Kris is younger than Junmyun by a year but his tone is clearing scolding Junmyun.

“I am trying to make coffee. I was not careful enough.”

“Today, don’t touch any water, don’t try to help. Just stay put. Ok? Let’s get your hand treated.” Kris grabbed Junmyun by his good hand.

 

“If I don’t know better, you looked like a boss.” Sehun comment was a little not friendly.

Kris frowned and stare directly at Sehun. Both Kris and Sehun are of similar size but Kris might be a little taller.

“Who are you?”  
 

“He’s new part-timer.” Junmyun tried to explain and get in middle of Kris and Sehun but Kris is holding him behind of him.

“You don’t look like a part-timer.”

“I am.” Sehun did not lose out. He stared right back at Kris.

 

“Kris, he’s Oh Sehun. Sehun-ah, he’s the main barista here. Kris.”

“Foreigner?”

“Not your business. Let’s go.” Kris once again, dragged Junmyun to his office. This time Sehun can’t say a thing.

 

Once Junmyun and Kris are alone in the office, Kris asked.

“What’s with him?”

“Sehunnie?”

“I took leave one day and you found yourself a little pet?”

“No!” Junmyun quickly denied. His heart is not done beating fast for Sehun’s earlier comment but now even Kris...

“Anyway, give me your hand.”

 

Kris is professional in treating burned wounds. He wrapped it up very nicely.

“Thanks.”

“Then, date me.”

“What?”

“Come on, I like you. You know that.”

“Kris…”

Junmyun sighed out as his memory ran back to a year ago where he had kissed Kris accidentally once and intentionally once.

Back then, he was arguing with Kris how he shouldn’t flirt every customer that worked in. But Kris doesn’t accept and their conversations are very heated and both of them are not in their right mind. They got handsy and kissed.

The kiss last like 4 seconds but Junmyun quickly pushed Kris away and left.

 

Kris doesn’t run away like Junmyun. He sticked around. He asked for another till Junmyun gives in. Kris is asking for Junmyun to go out with him but Junmyun is too stuck up in the past to date someone after Chanyeol.

 

“You should forget Chanyeol.”

Kris knows because Junmyun told him back then. When Junmyun gave Kris that intentional kiss, they agreed if Junmyun doesn’t want their relationship to proceed, Kris would listen. Kris is too confident in his skills which is beyond good, Junmyun admit.

It’s just his heart. His heart doesn’t want more. The kiss felt good and that’s the end for Junmyun.

 

The true problem with Junmyun is that he doesn’t want more.

 

“I already forgot him. But… Kris, I don’t want us to turn our like Chanyeol and me. You know how I ended up hurting Chanyeol.” Junmyun tried to explain but Kris doesn’t understand.

“Stop mentioning him! We are talking about us! I like you. And I think you don’t really dislike me.”

“Of course, you’re such a sexy,...” Junmyun was cut off by Kris suddenly stood up.

“Stop! You are just gonna give me thousands of compliments that is going to stuck in my head for a month and give me a boner for the rest of the day!”

“What?” Junmyun’s eyes automatically travels downwards which Kris covered really well with apron.

 

“Don’t stare. You’re making it worse!”

“I’m sorry.”

“I won’t give up.” Kris looked determined. His gaze is strong and it burns on Junmyun.

“Kris…”  
“No, you can’t tell me what to do.” Kris walked away. But he turned around to wink back at Junmyun.

Junmyun laughed with uneasy feelings. He knows Kris mean it and he’s sorry. As much determined as Kris, Junmyun is sure of his heart. He doesn’t want more with Kris. Fooling around with Kris is fun but the fun doesn’t last long. It dies fast. Junmyun is looking for something more, till he gets that, he’s going to be alone. For now.

 

~

Junmyun is about to rest for awhile like Kris said.

But he’s worried about Sehun and Kris. These two…

 

Junmyun peeked the outside situation. He saw them taking each other’s position without talking to each other. Junmyun knew he had to get between.

“Kris. Sehun. You two have greeted each other right?”

 

Kris and Sehun looked at each other and nodded.

“Done.” Kris replied coolly. Sehun just looked down at his hand. Junmyun is not usually the one that asked like…

“Sehun? What’s wrong?” With Sehun, Junmyun doesn’t know why or how. Questions that sound annoying to strangers often came out.

 

“No. Nothing.” Sehun is too polite. Junmyun knows something is not right. He felt close to Sehun on first day. But he felt the distance Sehun put between them.

Junmyun is about to press the matter but,

“I’m gonna put the open sign. It’s ok right, boss?” When Kris called Junmyun boss, all the senses come back to Junmyun.

 

What the hell am I doing? Junmyun nodded at Kris who is on his way to the door. Junmyun took his chair next to the counter. He decided to let Sehun handle with his own things.

He should forget about what he wanted to ask Sehun when the people flood in the café and getting busier. But he didn’t.

Instead, he kept watching over Sehun. Sehun is free of errors today. Soon, the lunch break comes. Junmyun offers both to go have lunch but none of them take it.

“Sehun can go have lunch. I will eat after him.”

“I’m not hungry.”

Kris glared at Sehun. Sehun doesn’t pay attention, he is on the same mood.

 

“Sehun? Meet me in the office in 10 minutes.” Junmyun shortly said and nothing else.

Junmyun called the Chinese restaurant next to their café. He ordered simple meals, two portions of Kimbab. Junmyun’s timing is great. He knows that place is fast. When Sehun comes up, he came with the food.

“Hyung, did you order food?”

“Yeah, sit down.”

Sehun sat down without complaining. He set the food down on table. Junmyun took out and place food in plates.

 

“Eat.” Junmyun set one plate in front of Sehun and one in front of him.

“Ne?”

“We should eat quickly. Kris is alone down there.” Junmyun took a bite and Sehun was quietly watching him. Junmyun tried not to pay any attention to Sehun. Soon after, Sehun started to eat.

Junmyun smiled as he stole glances at Sehun. Sehun is munching down many bites at once. And his tip of nose is a little pink. And his eyes are wet. Junmyun is surprised, is Sehun crying? He looks away to his plate. He too started to eat fast.

“I’m sorry, Hyung.”

Sehun sniffed. Junmyun stopped chewing as he looks at Sehun who is rubbing his eyes, trying not to cry.

“What? Why? My hand?”

 

Sehun nodded. Sehun just… he shouldn’t have asked something like that. The more Sehun thought, the more his guilt becomes heavier.

“Hey, Sehunnie?”

The way Junmyun called Sehun makes Sehun want to cry more.

“I’m not hurt. It’s not your fault. I am originally such a klutz.”

 

“But if I didn’t ask you to…”

“It’s not because you asked me to, it’s because I want to do it for you.”

Junmyun assured. Sehun is about to cry for real. Junmyun doesn’t know what shook him but he’s very not in his stable mind right now. He wanted to hug and patted Sehun like the way he likes to do it to his dog.

“Still, if I hadn’t asked, I will work hard, Hyung.” Sehun promised something he thought he could make amend. But Junmyun just nodded. He is really about to embrace Sehun if Sehun doesn’t go out soon.

“Go on, if you are going to work hard. Don’t let Kris do all the work.” Junmyun said as he pick up his plate to eat.

“Ne!” Sehun cheerfully said and he went downstairs.

 

Junmyun is once again alone in his office.

“Dangerous. Dangerous.” Junmyun now has to deal with his inner wars.

~

 

Junmyun hand got better but he still can’t let it touch water. Kris is not letting Junmyun touch any equipment. He acts like a boss while Junmyun is staying obedient to every order.

Junmyun knows Sehun got less talkative when there’s Kris but he can’t do anything. He can’t force something to be social. Junmyun tried to show him concern but Sehun is like a rock.

“Do you wanna take a break? I can fill in.” Junmyun offered which Sehun does not respond.

But Kris is not the same.

“Boss, you just stay where you are. We can’t afford another wound on our precious boss’s body.” Kris said it like a joke but only he knows he meant it.

“I can take orders just fine. You can handle all the dangerous stuffs.”

“I don’t want break-time, thank you.”

 

Junmyun walked towards Sehun’s counter.

“It’s past noon. You must be hungry.”

“No. I’m ok.” Sehun smiled this time. But Junmyun isn’t convinced.

“How old are you?” Kris doesn’t call out who but it’s clear to whom he is directed to.

“23.” Sehun’s answer is short and same tone as Kris too. His smile disappeared.

 

“See? 23 years old, an adult, who can decide whether he’s hungry or not.”

“I know, I just wanna take care of our maknae.” Junmyun can’t believe Kris is making a big thing out of this. What’s wrong with asking?

“I was maknae before he comes. How come you never ask me if I want food?” Kris rolled his eyes. Junmyun is unbelievable.

“You always take break before I could ask.”

“Whatever. If you want to take care of this giant maknae so much, why don’t you order Chinese next-door?”

Kris wasn’t giving him suggestion but Junmyun is acting this sarcasm out for real.

“I will go right away!”

Because Junmyun was busy talking to both Sehun and Kris he doesn’t pay attention to his back. He bump into a customer real hard.

 

“Ah!” Junmyun is actually short, for a guy, he is really not big. That customer that Junmyun bumps into is at least 180cm tall, on chest to chest with Kris.

“Don’t you have eyes?!”

Being tall isn’t only quality that customer had. He is rude too.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t looking.”

“Seriously! I thought I had enough bad luck by being dumped. Get loss! Why are you still hanging around?”

 

“Enough is enough!” Kris pulled out his apron and walked forward to Junmyun.

“Kris!” Junmyun had to put one hand on Kris’s chest to stop him.

“Wae? What do you want?” That rude guy doesn’t know when to stay put. He is still trying to get more trouble.

“Get out of here! Right now!” Kris shouted. Staying in control isn’t Kris’s forte.

“I am here to buy drinks! I’m the customer! How could you treat your customers like this? Where is manager? Bring him out!”

 

With a smile, Sehun came out.

“The owner is right in front of you, do you have any complaints? Please make it here.”

“What? You are the owner? This café is a chain business!” That guy is obviously looking down at Junmyun and not done being rude.

“If you have nothing to say, please get out. And make sure not to pay us any visit.” Sehun went ahead and keep the door open with a polite demeanor. If people would see this, they would simply think Sehun is just sending the customer off.

But it’s his eyes.

Junmyun saw Sehun’s eyes. Those eyes are burning with anger. Sehun might not be as hot-headed as Kris but he’s not losing out at temper. Sehun just controls it better and Junmyun actually likes it.

 

Without words, that guy left. He must have got really offended but Junmyun can’t help it. It’s true that he was careless, but it’s not like he hurt that guy or anything.

The air is so intense Junmyun felt like he is about to suffocate.

“Let’s all go have lunch. I’m hungry.”

Sehun just stare blankly at Junmyun. Kris just put out a laugh.

“Come on, don’t just stand there. Lunch is on me. Let’s go eat sushi.” Junmyun doesn’t know why he wants to eat sushi.

And of course, all employees are obligated to listen to their boss.

~

 

Junmyun is waiting to close up the cafe. Kris already left. Sehun’s shift is only up to 6pm. Junmyun sometimes slept in his office so, he got himself a mattress.

He is going to make himself a cup of hot chocolate and he is going to read.

 

Nights like tonights are rare. Normally, his friends would take him out to clubs and bars but he rejected all tonight.

After washing up, Junmyun came downstairs with a towel that he is using to dry his hair. There’s this hot chocolate that is will make rainy night like tonight calm and warm. He didn’t know calm is the pre-stage of storm.

 

Before Sehun shows up, drenching in rain, Junmyun is sipping hot chocolate, turning a page and the towel on his head. The shadow caught Junmyun’s attention and at first he didn’t see anything but only the shape of the person.

Junmyun got up to open the door because he wouldn’t leave anyone in rain.

 

“Sehun?” Junmyun finally saw the face when he open the door.

“The rain is really heavy.” Sehun’s voice is shaky as he speaks.

 

“You’re drenched. Oh my god. Come in come in.” Junmyun did not ask why Sehun is here or how he is here. At the sight of Sehun trembling a bit in cold rain makes him so worried.

He remember the towel on his head.

“Here, use it.” Junmyun, without thinking much, he put the towel on Sehun’s head.

 

“Thank you, Hyung. I ruined your night, didn’t I?” Sehun wipe dry his face with the towel. Sehun can’t help but noticed the soft shampoo smell of Junmyun on the towel. He did not use the towel on his head, he doesn’t want Junmyun’s scent to be lost in his.

“Nevermind. You should change the clothes. I should have some clean clothes, come on up.” Junmyun lead the way. He shouldn’t take advantage of someone who is cold and wet in rains.

But the lips of Sehun looked so pink and soft. Sehun got a small mouth but none the last, delicious-looking. Junmyun is in the front so he couldn’t stare but his mind can’t quit thinking about this pair of lips.

 

“Ahem… I… I have running shorts. Are you cold? Wait, let me look for something warm.” Junmyun open his bag, he go through his messy clothes.

“I’m comfortable with shorts.”

“Nah, wait. Let me… just…”

“Hyung, Hyung, it’s okay.” Sehun had to stop Junmyun before he made more of the mess out of his bag. Not that it would make a difference. His bag is already a mess.

 

The moment Sehun’s hand grab hold of Junmyun’s hand, Junmyun stopped doing everything.

“Hyung, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I… your hand is really cold.” Junmyun tried to calm himself, which doesn’t work. He couldn’t look at Sehun without thinking about those lips. He couldn’t let himself touch with Sehun without thinking about touching him other places.

“Sorry. Thank you for letting me in.” Sehun took the clothes Junmyun handed to him. Sehun looked around the inner room. He had been to office but not the room inside.

 

“You can change in there.” Junmyun pointed to the toilet.

Sehun went in.

Junmyun felt like he finally able to breathe. He sat down on the mattress as he put all the clothes to the bag messily. Right now, he couldn’t care less. He needed some space.

Junmyun thought he can finally be able to act normal but then, Sehun came out.

His shorts looked really cute on Sehun and his oversize hoodie is just perfect for Sehun.

 

“It’s like my own clothes. I like them.”  
“Huh?”

“They smell like you.” Sehun said and his ears redden as soon as he said it. Sehun wished he didn’t say the last part. He didn’t mean to. It just came out of his voice.

 

They awkwardly stood in the middle of the room for god-know-how-long. Then Junmyun just remembered something, that hoodie he gave to Sehun now currently on Sehun’s body is not new. He wore it once. HE WORE IT WHEN HE…

“That... I think that hoodie isn’t new, let me find something else.” As Junmyun said, he knelt down and he took out some shirt.

 

“Take it off.” Junmyun said. His face is hot. He can’t believe he didn’t put that hoodie in laundry yet.

“Why? It’s warm and I like it. I don’t mind so, don’t worry.” Sehun did not want to give it up. He was not lying when he said he like it. It’s so warm and it really smelled like Junmyun. If possible, he wanna stole it and never give it back to Junmyun.

 

“Sehun, just take it off.” Junmyun’s face is starting to redden. He can’t let Sehun wore that hoodie. Not when,...

“Why? I don’t want to.” Sehun is starting to act like a kid. He just want this hoodie why is Junmyun like this?

“Just…” Junmyun try to pull that zipper to take it off. Junmyun is not thinking straight. He doesn’t think of the consequences of pulling that zipper down. Sehun didn’t wear anything underneath.

“Sorry. Will you please just,... release me.” Junmyun quickly tried to escape from Sehun as soon as he realized he just tried to make Sehun topless by force. And Sehun is now holding Junmyun’s wrists with both of his hands.

Junmyyun is breathless. Actually both of them are. Sehun stared at Junmyun’s face which is facing down. For Junmyun, he couldn’t look at Sehun.

 

“Hyung…”

Junmyun slowly looked up at Sehun. Junmyun was afraid. He doesn’t know why Sehun made him feel those things he hadn’t for years. It was those lips, Junmyun knew. Those lips ruined him.

That’s then Junmyun also realized. The moment his eyes met with Sehun’s. Sehun wants him too. That information scared the shit out of Junmyun. Those eyes full of desires reminded him of the past he desperately trying to forget.

“Can I…”

 

That is the end of Junmyun’s thoughts. His own desires burn at Sehun’s silent request. Junmyun doesn’t even know himself when he nods.

He became surer when Sehun’s lips touched his own. They are soft indeed. Sehun’s hands on his wrists are now on the sides of his face.

What makes him opened his mouth and started to act like they had been making out for ages instead of being the first time, Junmyun doesn’t know and doesn’t care. He is fighting for dominance. He tried to push Sehun while not stopping the kiss.

 

Sehun was pushed back a lot and his footing got messy. They both fell on top of Junmyun’s mattress. It wasn’t like the drama at all.

When Junmyun fell, he actually felt the cold air rushing in but he closed his eyes. He is safe in Sehun’s embrace. Sehun was holding him. Sehun was protecting him from the fall. The thought turned him on.

The kiss was disturbed.

Junmyun got up a little from the support of his elbows and he hovered over Sehun.

 

“I don’t want to stop.” Junmyun doesn’t know where did he get all those courage.

“I am gonna die if you stop.” Sehun brought Junmyun down again and kissed him. This time rougher, more eager.

Their lips connect in a way that south end and north end of two magnets connect each other. They couldn’t stop and the hands are everywhere on every inch of each other’s bodies. Soon after both of them are naked, Sehun on top of Junmyun, trying to… do all sort of things Sehun is too skilled for Junmyun’s luck that night.

Sehun is rough. Junmyun is not used to ‘size’ of Sehun and he is not used to such activities at all, at least for these years.

 

All those moaning into each other’s mouths and Sehun’s hands gripping onto Junmyun’s hips to use, to thrust him into with more force turns Junmyun on like nothing else. Junmyun orgasm came sooner than he thought and his legs felt like useless jelly when Sehun released both of his legs after he came at third time.

 

Junmyun knew it’s not going to be the same next morning. But he’s too tired to think. He does not want to. He knows they will have to talk soon. But right now, his throat is sore due to him getting vocal. He only got himself to blame. The best now is to sleep, not thinking the confusing part, not considering the serious part, but just with the warmth of Sehun next to him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Junmyun woke up alone. His hand moves to search for his phone. It’s 10am. God. Junmyun sat up quickly and he rubbed his eyes and look at his phone screen again. Junmyun didn’t see wrong. The number showing on his phone says 10:12.

“Oh, I just come up to wake you.”

 

Sehun is already dressed fully and in apron. He seemed to be working. Right! Work.

“Is it busy right now?” Junmyun had to ask. He knew it’s gonna be busy because today is Friday.

“Yeah, sorry, I just left Kris alone. I need to go back.” Sehun said apologetically. Junmyun understands but he wanted to stay with Sehun. Sehun doesn’t say anything about last night but Junmyun noticed that his eyes are staring at anywhere and everywhere but Junmyun’s half-naked body before he left again.

Junmyun wants to laugh because that was not the case last night. Junmyun’s face felt hot as he thought of last night incidents but he shook his head and he tried to get up.

Junmyun carefully washed himself. It’s really been long that he had such strenuous activities and Sehun wasn’t easy to take in. All of his long pants need laundry and he only ends up with running shorts and hoodie.

“Hi.” Junmyun came down to the cafe and he smiled at Sehun.

Kris was looking at them. Junmyun then noticed Kris and his smile got a little awkward.

“Morning. Sorry, I slept in.”

“It’s not even first time I had to open up the shop.”

“He often slept in?” Sehun asked. Sehun thought Junmyun is not the kind of owner that would leave things up to his employees.

 

“When he got laid.” Kris smirked at Sehun.

“What?” Sehun’s brow furrowed.

“Kris, don’t talk nonsense.” Junmyun shook his head at Sehun who is now looking at Junmyun.

“By getting laid, in Junmyun’s language, it means he found a good book and he stayed up late to finish it. Tell me, what book caught you last night?” Kris said knowingly. But Junmyun has no thoughts to correct him.

“It’s… a big one.” Junmyun gave a cheeky glance to Sehun. Sehun looked really proud of himself, he lower his head and kept smiling.

“Well, let’s not get into details.”

“Yeah, sure.” Junmyun is quick to agree. His cheeks felt hot at details, how Sehun’s fingers are opening him up last night and how he wanted those long slender fingers to fill him up. GOD.

 

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Kris asked again, he came out from behind the desk and walked towards Junmyun.

“Your face looked kinda flush.”

It’s natural for Kris to do something like, puting his hand on Junmyun’s forehead. They had known each other for about a year and see each other every day so, it’s not a big deal. But, Sehun… Sehun stared at Kris and Sehun does not want Junmyun to let Kris touch his forehead or any part of his body. Kris totally gave out the protective boyfriend feel around Junmyun and Sehun did not like it.

 

“KRIS! Your order!”

“Can’t you do it instead?” The hand that is about to feel Junmyun’s forehead is retraced.

“It’s your order and you’re obviously doing nothing.” Sehun shrugged and gave Junmyun an eye. Junmyun looked innocently back at Sehun.

“I will take it.” Junmyun took the tray from Sehun, thinking Sehun is in bad mood because it’s busy and Junmyun is chilling around.

“Boss, you just rest. Besides, my legs are longer.”

Kris doesn’t simply took the tray from front. He let his arms embraced around Junmyun and took the tray. Junmyun have no choice but to lower himself so that his head doesn’t hit the tray.

“What does that have to do with long legs?” Junmyun pouts.

“Long legs, faster steps.”

 

Sehun practically rolled his eyes as he can’t bear the little interaction between Kris and Junmyun. He is not supposed to be bothered by this but…

But…

 

~

“I don’t think I can keep working here and do this with you.”

It’s so sudden.

Junmyun looked at Sehun from sweeping the floor. Sehun stayed behind to help Junmyun close down the shop. It has been a week since their first night and they had sex three times and make out all the time, like every time they get a chance.

 

“What?”

“Let’s sit down. I want to talk it slowly.” Junmyun doesn’t know why but it doesn’t feel good. He doesn’t feel good. His stomach is about to get upset while he didn’t even eat dinner.

But Junmyun obeyed. He took a seat right across Sehun.

“I want to stop working here.”

“You found a full-time job already?” Junmyun wants to beg. He knows he is not ready not to see Sehun everyday around his shop in the apron. He’s so cute with this apron.

“No. It’s not about job. It’s about you and me.”

“Us? Why?” Now, Junmyun is even more confused. He felt relieved at the tone of Sehun. Sehun isn’t seeming to be breaking up with him.

 

“Technically, you’re my boss.” Sehun said, hoping Junmyun would understand but it’s not even a good attempt.

“Yeah?”

“We are fucking each other.” Junmyun almost laugh out lout at this.

“Sehun-ah, what are you trying to say?” But Junmyun really doesn’t get what Sehun wants to say.

“I want to be something with you but if you’re my boss, that made things difficult for me.”

“So, you want to quit? But I don’t want you to. I like seeing you everyday.”

“Sweet. I doubt are your lips are as sweet as your words.”

“Well, you won’t know if you kept putting a distance between us.”

 

Sehun smiled knowingly as he leaned in, Junmyun is pushing his face out. He just want to keep kissing Sehun. Junmyun is not sure how Sehun does it but he is on the table right now. HIs legs are opened and Sehun is between them. But he was just sitt…

“Sehun-ah,”

Three of his buttons are gone. Sehun’s lips are on his collarbone, his neck and all the way to his earlobe. Junmyun held onto Sehun for dear life. Sehun’s sneaky hands are fondling Junmyun’s balls.

“I mean it. I want to keep doing this.” Sehun is teasing Junmyun. He hasn’t removed Junmyun’s pants and he kept attacking Junmyun’s weak spots all over his upper body.

 

“No one is.. Uh… stopping you.” It’s hard to speak when Sehun’s mouth are finally on his nipples. Junmyun’s back is flat on the table while Sehun is eating him off.

“You’re so hard already. Do you want me to suck you off?” Junmyun jolted at the offer. He

 

“Are you seriously asking???”

And both of them are a mess after.

 

-

“Sehun quits.”

“I know.” Kris doesn’t look at Junmyun. If Junmyun noticed, Kris hadn’t give Junmyun a glance since morning.

“What?”

 

Junmyun even thought about thousand excuses for Sehun to give Kris. But this is not what he expected.

“I came yesterday, to have a drink with you. The lights are on and I saw you two. Suddenly all the confusions became clear.”

“Kris…” Junmyun felt guilty. He should have told Kris. It’s not like he owe Kris but Kris is the one that stick around and helping Junmyun out a lot in the past years. And Junmyun consider Kris as his friend. He shouldn’t have hiden it from Kris.

“You don’t need to explain. I… it’s alright.” Kris doesn’t want to lie that he’s alright. He is not like other men, he can’t say only good, kind and soft words. He is straightforward. His words are sometimes rude but at least they are not lies.

 

“I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you.”

“Is it random hook-up thing?” Kris asked in expectation. He knows for a fact that Junmyun doesn’t do random hook-up but he had to ask.

“I don’t know. Actually, we didn’t talk about that matter.”

“You’re fine fooling around with Sehun but not with me?” Kris felt hurt. But it’s unfair to say this.

“I shouldn’t have said it. I’m sorry. I’m just too upset.”

 

Junmyun is not talking, he just look down. Kris can’t stay still when Junmyun is like this.

“Are you two serious?”

“I don’t know.” Junmyun still couldn’t look at Kris.

“Look at me.” Kris sighed out. He loves this little guy too much. He could never get angry with Junmyun.

“Jun, look at me.”

At second call, Junmyun looked up. His eyes welled up with tears. They threatened to fall down.

“Oh, Junmyun, you know I can’t handle this.” Kris’s heart hurts more than last night when he saw Sehun and Junmyun kissing together.

“I’m really sorry.” Junmyun’s tears finally came out. Kris is ready to open his arms and let the guy cry in his arms. Kris hugged Junmyun tight. He hugged tight because it seemed like the last time he can get intimate with Junmyun before Junmyun is another man’s.

 

“What are you two doing?”

 

It’s Sehun. Junmyun wanted to turn to look but Kris’s hold is strong.

“The shop is closed. Sorry.” Kris said while letting Junmyun go. Just because he can’t get Junmyun, it doesn’t mean he has to stir trouble between them.

“I used to work here!”

“I know! That’s why I asked you to leave. The shop is closed no customers allowed.” Kris knew the sign is already turned ‘open’ so he quickly turn it to ‘close’.

“Kris.” Junmyun rubbed his eyes and face so that the traces of tears are no longer there. But Junmyun can’t rub the redness of his nose away.

 

“Have you been crying?” Sehun is immediately next to Junmyun, hanging a protective arm around him.

“No. It’s just…”

“You made him cry.” Sehun doesn’t ask question but he is already stepping forward to Kris. Kris felt ridiculous but somehow he’s relief. Kris saw something in Sehun’s glare. The murderous look, just because he thought Kris made Junmyun cry. That’s the only thing Kris hoped for Junmyun. For Junmyun to meet someone that would take care of him.

“Sehun-ah, you misunderstand.” Junmyun pulled back Sehun.

 

“Obviously, I did. But it’s not like you have any rights to be angry about it. Just like us, you are fooling around with him.”

“...”

The murderous look got stronger but Sehun didn’t say a word. He looked back at Junmyun who is not denying what Kris said but looking at Kris with stress.

“You did what with him?”

“No, Sehun, don’t be like this.” Junmyun doesn’t know where to start and Junmyun is not used to angry Sehun.

“It was not just fooling around. At least not for me.” Sehun said trying to control himself from hitting Kris.

“I…”

“Is it like this for you?” Junmyun couldn’t release the eye-contact. He wanted to say something. It’s like his lips are sealed by something powerful.

 

“I thought… nevermind.” Sehun smile is so devastating. He left with a smile.

Gone.

Just in a matter of seconds, things changed so quick. Junmyun couldn’t say anything.

“What are you doing?” Kris brought his soul back to his body.

“I…”

“Follow him!

 

Follow? Junmyun looks at Kris. His senses are all numb and he couldn’t react straight away.

“Right!. Thanks.” When his mind now works fine and his senses came back, he ran.

Junmyun steps falter as he saw the back of Sehun on the side of the road. Sehun is not leaving. He is just standing there. Junmyun did not have time to wonder what Sehun is doing. He just went over there.

 

“Sehun-ah.”

His voice is loud. But people do not mind him because of weather. Sky is covered with gray clouds and it’s about to rain. People are rushing to somewhere to get covered from rain. But there is Sehun, looking back because he heard Junmyun call his name.

 

“It’s not like that.” Junmyun walked quicker, he blamed his short legs. He wanted to say something that will please Sehun. He wanted to make Sehun smile. Not this sad, frustrated, none of the emotions on Sehun’s face suits him right now.

“I am not fooling around with you. It means more than that to me.”

 

The rain falls. It starts falling slowly and lightly then it’s getting heavier.

“It’s raining, you shouldn’t be out here.”

“But you’re here.”

Sehun couldn’t react at Junmyun words. Sehun just stared into Junmyun’s eyes are longer than it should till it’s harder to do because of the rain. In no time, both of them are drenched.

“Let’s take shelter first. Your lips are trembling.” Sehun finally said. Junmyun knows because he is really starting to feel cold. The wind is not helping.

 

“Please don’t misunderstand me and Kris. Nothing happened between us. Not like the way you and me.”

Sehun seemed to be considering at Junmyun’s words. He couldn’t glance away from those trembling lips, slightly purple because of the rain and the cold.

“Why did you follow me out?”

“Eoh?”

“Why?” Sehun asked again, this time his eyes are not focus only on the lips but it’s running from Junmyun’s eyes to his lips.

“I… you…” Sehun’s question is so simple yet he couldn’t find the answer. He couldn’t say this out. It’s still awfully early and… Junmyun couldn’t be sure of himself.

 

“Don’t answer. You’re out here anyway.” Sehun’s patience ran out and his lips are directly against Junmyun. Sehun’s breath is warm. Junmyun felt his legs are screaming for standing too long in the cold but he didn’t fall. Sehun is supporting Junmyun’s weight on himself.

Maybe that’s why movies made such a big deal about kissing in the rain. It feels so good and it’s wet. Everything felt extra good.

“Sehun-ah,” Junmyun said as Sehun stopped and looked down at Junmyun.

“We need to go back to café.” Junmyun is not convinced. It’s raining and it’s cold but Sehun’s body is very warm. Junmyun likes it. Too much.

“Now?”

Junmyun heard it. The reluctant to go back. He heard it in Sehun’s voice loud and clear because that’s also what Junmyun wants. He doesn’t want to go back. He wants to continue kissing Sehun. Those soft lips that are commanding enough to make him kneel.

Sehun smiles when Junmyun doesn’t answer. He leaned in again to kiss Junmyun. This time it’s a wrap-up kiss.

 

“Let’s go.”

Sehun’s hand is warm against Junmyun’s. He really blushed when Sehun’s held his hand. They are in public and since it’s heavily raining right now Junmyun’s sure no one is going to pay attention towards them. But some did. Since they both are out in the rain without umbrella. Or maybe also because of their lack of urgency in this rain.

“Do you mind?” Sehun held up Junmyun’s hand, asking.

Junmyun only could one thing.

He smiled while he shook his head. Junmyun is not sure about the feelings that is spreading warm through his chest despite the cold. But he knows that right now, he’s happy.

 

~

It’s like nothing changes but everything changes. Sehun is no longer a staff at his shop but he’s now a regular. He can’t stick around whole day but he kept his routine. Maybe Junmyun shouldn’t take things for granted, maybe he should be casual like Sehun or maybe he shouldn’t put his own heart at stake while playing this dangerous game.

 

“No Sehun?” It’s a careless question, very normal and expected from Kris but Junmyun felt hurt. Yes, Sehun doesn’t come today. Normally, he would be there when the cafe opened and left around 9. He would come back around 7 and stay late till the shop close down. But…

Junmyun chooses not to answer. Kris doesn’t push because Kris know he is bothered by it. And he hates it more because he is bothered. He shouldn’t be. He is bother because there’s no text, no call from Sehun that he would not be there.

“Did you guys fight?”

“NO!”

Junmyun dropped the chair that he is supposed to tidy up. He strode towards the door and turn the sign to ‘close’. He never acted like this. He is shocked with himself and his impulses.

“Okayy. Sorry.” Kris says sorry but Junmyun knows for the fact that Kris is offended.

 

“I… He didn’t say anything.”

“What?”

“Sehun, he didn’t text me last night, this morning and he didn’t show up.” A drop of tears escaped from Junmyun’s eyes. Junmyun is not sure what he is mad with nor why he is suddenly sad.

Kris immediately is next to him.

“Hey, why are you crying?”

“I’m not crying.” Junmyun blinked several times to clear away his tears.

“Did you two really fight? It’s okay. That’s what couples do.”

“We… we are not couples. We didn’t fight.”

Kris stared at Junmyun for really a long time. Finally, he shook his head.

“You’re in love with him.” Kris said, not for Junmyun to hear, more to convince himself.

 

“I’m not in love with Sehun.” Junmyun is quick to response. He heard it but he is not supposed to.

Kris smiled. But it’s not really a smile.

“Are you sad? Angry? When you didn’t hear a word from him?”

“Of course, he always text and call. He comes every morning. He…” Junmyun is silent. It’s not right. Junmyun suddenly realized what he was really feeling. He was hurt because things do not happen according to his expectations.

“I’m not in love with him.” Junmyun said weakly. He doesn’t want to feel more than he should. He doesn’t want to admit. But he likes the idea of it, not pathetic one-sided, but beautifully in-love vice-versa.

“You are not deceiving anyone here. Listen, Jun, you don’t have to deny the love. You have to learn how to accept it.” Kris said touching his chest.

 

“Even though you did not believe my feelings, I know myself because they are mine. Now, whatever you are feelings, they are yours. You have to know yourself. You have to know and accept for what it is.” Junmyun got Kris’s words in his heart. He received them well.

“How come you’re suddenly wise?”

“I’m normally wise. You’re just too thick to see.” Kris winked and laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

Junmyun rolled his eyes but he’s grateful. When Kris patted his head, he didn’t move away because at this moment, he felt like Kris is his older brother that is giving advice to his little bro.

“Call him. If he doesn’t call, there’s nothing wrong with you calling first.”

“But…” Junmyun looked up at Kris who look so sure of everything. He never thought he would be getting romantic advice from Kris. But he just did.

Junmyun looked down at his phone, staring at the name that is on top of his favorite list. His thumb hanging over at the name but did not touch to call. Junmyun closed his eyes and he touch it.

 

The sudden loud ringtone scarred Junmyun and he opened his eyes to trail the source of the sound. It was just in front of him, Kris’s phone. The one on the screen is himself, but the name is…

‘PEACH’ and heart emoticon.

“Stupid!”

Kris throw himself between the table and Junmyun to get his phone and cover Junmyun’s vision but it was too late.

“You saved my name as peach? What the fck you thinking?” Junmyun yelled but he was blushing. He never thought Kris would be this… ridiculously cheesy.

“Who told you to close your eyes and call? Plus, this is my phone. I can save everyone’s name as I wish.”

“Give me your phone.”

“No.”

“Give me.”

“No.”

“Change the name. I am nothing like peach.” Junmyun shouted as he tried to get the phone from Kris but the bastard is way too taller than him.

“Kris!”

“What?”

Junmyun couldn’t say anything at his utter defeat. He is short. His hand only reach to the elbow of Kris and his head is just at the level of Kris’s chin. But Kris’s voice, when it became this soft? Junmyun looked into Kris’s eyes and saw Kris is looking back at him. He saw so many vulnerable things. Kris’s true feelings for him. Junmyun wanted to look away but he couldn’t. He just found out that Kris’s eyes are brown, not black. He just found out that all the years Kris stayed next to him is also because Kris has feelings for him.

 

“You can close the shop to play around when you are boss, huh?” With the sound of bell at the door, Sehun came in.

Junmyun realized the hardness in Sehun’s jaw and redness of his eyes. When Kris put his hand down and took one step further away from him, he then realized he is standing too close to Kris. It’s the scene everyone who walked in could misunderstand. So Sehun is no exception.

It’s not pleasant words.

Junmyun doesn’t want to fight. If he replied something snappy, they would fight for sure and Junmyun doesn’t want to. So, Junmyun doesn’t say anything as he walked straight for the office. If Sehun is looking for a fight, he would give it but not in front of his employee.

 

“Where were you?” Junmyun asked without looking back because he knew Sehun follows him when he came up to his office.

“You can’t flirt with Kris when you’re fucking with me.”

Normally, Junmyun would not mind that word because it’s true. They are fucking each other and it’s not a bad thing. But the way Sehun spatted it out, it hurts.

“Get out.”

As soon as Sehun realized what he did, what his words did, he immediately tried to apologize. But he closed his mouth again. Junmyun is not turning his back. Junmyun saw everything. The apologetic look Sehun had earlier is gone. Sehun stared him back in the eyes. Junmyun’s finger is still in the air, pointing towards the door.

“Get out.” Junmyun said it, this time weaker because it felt like he never knew Sehun before. Normal Sehun would apologize immediately without hesitation. Normal Sehun wouldn’t even said it in the first place. Junmyun wanted to cry.

 

Sehun took a step closer. Junmyun didn’t move.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Sehun wrapped his fingers around Junmyun’s finger that is still pointing at the door.

“Then, don’t.” The urge to cry became stronger as Sehun’s touch became more intimate.

“Are we exclusive? I need us to be exclusive.” Sehun’s voice is so low. Actually, they don’t really talk about such things because it’s awkward.

“You don’t even need to ask me. I only have you.” Junmyun’s answer seemed to relief Sehun. Junmyun could feel the tension in Sehun’s shoulders dropped immensely.

“I’m sorry.” Sehun said finally and he hugged Junmyun tight.

Junmyun let his tears fall in Sehun’s embrace. He doesn’t know why Sehun had to be like this. The more he doesn’t understand, the harder he cried.

 

“Shh. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Don’t cry.” Sehun’s shirt is wet with Junmyun’s tears. Sehun wanted to raise Junmyun’s face to his direction. But Junmyun wouldn’t let him see his face. His face is reddened and his eyes are swollen.

“You’re ugly when you cry.”

“What?” Junmyun knows Sehun is teasing but he reacted nonetheless.

“So, don’t cry. My heart hurts.” Junmyun thought Sehun is still joking but when he finally looked up at Sehun, there’s no humor in his eyes. Sehun stare is intense. He meant those words. Junmyun wants to trust those words but it’s hard to when those tears are caused by Sehun, himself.

“Next time, when I say something rude, punch me instead. Don’t cry and don’t be hurt. Punch me, kick me, you can do all you want. I wouldn’t even complain.”

“You simply can say you won’t hurt me next time. Why are you telling me to hurt you? You think I would be happy if I punch you, kick you?”

 

“No. It’s not like this. I am a guy with jealousy. I don’t really have bad-temper but when it comes to you, I lost it too easily. When I saw Kris and you, standing too close… I just… I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to kill Kris. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Do you like me?”

“Of course I like you, I wouldn’t spend one second of my time if I don’t.”

“Then, do you love me? Want to be my boyfriend?”

“Of course I… what?”

Junmyun decided to trust Kris on this matter. He doesn’t always have to wait for the other party to act up. He needs to take an initiate. Junmyun’s hand touched Sehun’s nape, brought him down and meet his lips with Sehun’s.

Junmyun needed Sehun to feel his love. This kiss isn’t long. Junmyun is trembling with emotions as he let go. But his body is still pressed up to Sehun due to the hand on his waist.

“You can’t just kiss me and run away from me.”

“You are not answering.”

 

Sehun gazed into Junmyun with many emotions Junmyun does not fully understand. With that gaze alone, Junmyun would safely think Sehun surely has strong feelings for him but… he can’t always be sure.

“I want you to be mine. And mine only.”

Junmyun isn’t looking for this but he settled for this. Because his head is muddled. Sehun is kissing him like a burning hayfire because when he stopped, Junmyun felt so hot. He couldn’t stop the touching, the feeling and everything.

If he’s going to hell for this, he is willing.

 

~

Why is it has to be this way?

Sehun gazed into Junmyun who is sleeping soundly in his arms. So innocent, so peaceful. Sehun approached Junmyun in knowledge about Chanyeol and Junmyun. No one would have know Chanyeol is his brother because of their surnames. He is ‘Oh’ and Chanyeol is ‘Park’. Chanyeol was adopted to their family when he was young. They are closed. They played together, they went school together.

When Chanyeol said he is going to be a lawyer, Sehun thought Chanyeol is really cool. So, he followed Chanyeol to be a lawyer. But things change.

Sehun couldn’t believe this new Chanyeol. Chanyeol used to be so cheerful, so playful. They were often partners in crime.

 

That day, when Chanyeol came home, he was drenched in rain. Our parents asked him in worry but he silently went into his room. He fell sick for a week. When he got better, he totally like a new person. This Chanyeol is not his brother Chanyeol. Sehun can’t just accept this absurd change. He asked those Chanyeol’s friends and they all pointed to one person.

 

Kim Jun Myun.

 

With the intent to revenge, he approached Junmyun. But… Junmyun is not like what he thought. And he never thought he would… fall for him like this. But he promised Chanyeol things. Things he thought he can do. Things right now, he did not want to do.

 

“Morning.”

Sehun’s heart hurt at the soft voice of Junmyun, not knowing all the evil intentions inside him.

“Did you have a good sleep?”

“I’m sore.”

A laughter escape from Sehun’s mouth without real joy. Junmyun doesn’t seem to notice. Maybe Junmyun didn’t notice because Sehun leaned onto to give him a forehead kiss.

“I need to go.”

“Right now?”

“Yeah, I have class.”

“What time is it?”

“Time to go.” Sehun gave Junmyun another kiss. This time it’s on the lips. Junmyun’s hands trying to hold onto Sehun. But when Sehun stopped, Junmyun looked up him with sleepy eyes. Sehun wished he could stop the time. He wish he could stared into those pretty eyes filled with love for him for the rest of his life and his thought scared him.

 

Sehun dressed up fast without giving a look to Junmyun. Because the more he looked at Junmyun, the more he regretted his decisions back then and the guiltier. He made Junmyun fell for him and Junmyun did.

“Text me!” Junmyun said behind the door. Sehun just smiled.

Sehun knows he got himself into this mess. Sehun knows it’s his fault. Now he had to choose. He choose to hurt Junmyun even if his heart is gonna hurt along the process.

 

~

 

The change wasn’t abrupt. Slow. Slow but effective.

From absenting one day a week, it becomes two days a week.

From calling and texting everyday, it becomes an occasional texting and calling.

Junmyun is afraid to raise those small things because he didn’t want to sound desperate and pathetic. He becomes the one who’s always free.

But when Junmyun calls, Sehun always pick up, even in the middle of the night. So Junmyun calls every day. Sehun stops.

 

“What are you doing tomorrow? Are you coming over?”

“...”

“Are you listening?” Junmyun’s voice shook. It’s usual these days. Sehun pays him no mind

It has been a month since Junmyun started calling Sehun everyday. But…

Sometimes Sehun wouldn’t pick up and wouldn’t call back. And when Junmyun stopped talking, Sehun would have nothing to say him back. Sehun just listens every time Junmyun calls. Junmyun started to get scarred.

The more he get scared, the clingier he became and the more distance they grow out.

 

But it was fine.

Their relationship is still intact. Junmyun could hold on.

Before the one string, that is hanging, got cut off.

~

 

Junmyun didn’t know that day the string would break out too soon.

 

“I don’t believe you.”

“Junmyun…” Kris follows Junmyun who is trying to move in this small cafe.

“Don’t. I said I don’t believe you.” Junmyun face is unpredictable. He doesn’t smile.

“Don’t be a pain-in-ass. You know I don’t lie.”

 

Of course Junmyun knows. Of course Kris doesn’t lie. But he wants to deny all of it. The fact that Sehun betrayed him, the fact that Sehun had been fooling him all the time would kill him. He is trying to find the reason. The possible and impossible reason that could explain all of this unacceptable behaviors of Sehun.

He said he is in the class.

But Kris saw him at amusement park with another guy, holding hands, unmistakable as lovers.

He said he will text me.

But he never did.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Junmyun is not just saying it. He meant it.

“Okay. Okay. You don’t wanna talk about it? Fine. But you can’t stop me from going to find Sehun.”

“What? Kris, you can’t do that.”

“Why not? You’re refusing to talk.” Kris shrug. IT is not the threat. Either Junmyun talk or not, Kris is ready to talk to Sehun. He can’t see Junmyun in constant sadness like this. He didn’t give up Junmyun so that he could be sad. He give Junmyun up to Sehun because Sehun seemed to make Junmyun happy, more than he could.

“Why does it matter? It is none of your business.” With a shaky breath, Junmyun said it defensively. But seeing Kris angry, Junmyun felt bad. Junmyun knows Kris is worried about him. But…

 

“I won’t get involved then.”

“Kris.”

“You said it. It’s none of my business.” Kris took off his apron and left. Junmyun didn’t want to care. He’s tired. Nothing in his life is right. Nothing.

Junmyun just sat there.

He tried to call Sehun. But like usual, Sehun doesn’t pick up.

 

Junmyun is no mood to serve the customers in this moment. He went by the door to turn the sign to ‘close’.

 

“Pick up. Sehun. Please.” Junmyun held onto his phone, listening to the dialing tone. He is not done with Sehun. Not like this. Kris is right. He need to talk to Sehun.

 

~

Junmyun doesn’t know when he fell asleep but when he woke up, he is still in the shop. The close sign is on. The lights are off except one small light bulb in the kitchen. Junmyun looked around the shop for any sign of Kris or Sehun but he’s alone with a blanket on.

He picked up the blanket that fall off him on the ground.

 

Kris must have came back.

 

Junmyun looked at his phone for time. It’s almost 11.

He also saw the notification for new message. His heart jumps a little as the sender is Sehun. He opened to view the text immediately but,

 

“Let’s break up.”

 

It’s only four words. No explanation. Nothing. He dialed Sehun’s number, but it’s off.

Junmyun laughed a little.

“It has to be a joke.”

But he knew. Junmyun knew it is not a joke. It is the most honest words Sehun had sent in past few days. The more Junmyun realized that their relationship has ended, the more it hurts. He kept thinking of what happened back then with Chanyeol. He knew even if he held onto Sehun, it wouldn’t make much difference.

You can’t do relationship alone.

But Junmyun can’t give up. He didn’t start this relationship to let go. He needs to get Sehun back. He knows Sehun still loves him. He just doesn’t know why he changed.

 

Does Sehun not love him anymore?

 

That question scares him more than he thought.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Sehun phone kept ringing. By the fifth call, Sehun mute his phone but the vibration won’t go off.  
After Sehun could no longer keep up with the number, it stopped.  
  
But Sehun phone flashes with incoming texts.  
  
“Come down.”  
“Please.”  
“I know you’re there. The lights are still on.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you. I can’t break up with you.”  
  
Those texts came in one after one. Sehun did not pick up his phone to read them because his phone is right between Chanyeol and him and both of them can see clearly.  
  
“Are you not going?”  
“Where?”  
  
“It’s not Sehun I know.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“The Sehun I know would be downstairs by now. He won’t leave his friend in the rain alone.”  
“Kim Junmyun is not my friend.”  
“While you were with him, did he not treat you well?”  
“How could you be on his side? Did you not remember how you came home that day he dumb you?”  
“He wasn’t heartless to me, Sehun. He was kind to me. It was the kindest he could do in that situation.”  
  
“I should never have watched you do this. I should have made you listen no matter what.” Chanyeol said to himself while peeking through the window. The streetlight laminating on Junmyun is making Sehun dizzy.  
Sehun wants to blame the rain. Why does it has to pour so hard?  
Sehun blamed Junmyun. Why is he so stupid, not carry an umbrella with him in rainy season?  
  
“I’m going.”  
“What do you think you are doing?”  
“I’m ending this. I’m ending this for me and for him. I need to do this. This is the last truth I could give.”  
  
Just like that, Chanyeol slammed the door shut behind him to rush to Junmyun. Sehun with a black heart, he stared down towards the figure that was looking up to his room.  
  
~  
Junmyun can wait. He can wait if Sehun will comeback. Junmyun couldn’t think of things to text Sehun. He doesn’t know what he did.  
It’s so sudden. But he still believed that Sehun loves him. Even if people call him stupid for believing such, he rather be a stupid.  
  
When the door opened, Junmyun felt his heart came to alive. He wished to see Sehun running towards him with a pair of open arms. But, it wasn’t Sehun but it was someone he knew, once.  
  
“Are you crazy?”  
“Chanyeol?”  
“It’s 10 degree. The rain is pouring down this hard, why are you standing here like crazy?”  
“How did you come here? Did you live here?”  
“I live with Sehun.”  
  
It’s like a flash that enlightened Junmyun of everything. Suddenly, every single thing Sehun did coldly made sense. The excuses, the absent, and this…  
“Where is Sehun?”  
“Don’t you hear me? Don’t you understand this meaning? I live with Sehun since young. Sehun knew you are here, in the rain, alone. He won’t come down. You should go home.”  
  
Every word coming out of Chanyeol is a torture. Harsh, colder than the rain and they stabbed him right in the heart.  
“You’re trying to separate us, right? Sehun doesn’t know you. Sehun…”  
Junmyun is soaked in rain. Chanyeol couldn’t see clearly if Junmyun is crying. He never wanted to hurt Junmyun, not like this.  
  
“Sehun knew me, from the start. He knew about you and me. And he approached me. He didn’t love me. He played me, like a toy. He used my feelings to… revenge for you.” Junmyun looked at Chanyeol for confirmation but he already knew he is right.  
“I never asked for this.” Chanyeol tried to take a hold of Junmyun’s lifeless body.  
Junmyun pushed himself out of Chanyeol’s grip. He can’t believe this.  
“What should I have done back then? What could I have? Should I just continue the lie?”  
“I know. You did the right thing.” Chanyeol tried to pull Junmyun into the building. The rain just kept pouring heavier.  
“I didn’t love you. Not like the way I love Sehun.” Chanyeol didn’t expect the hurt. A part of him still loves Junmyun.  
“So you really did love Sehun.” Chanyeol decided he should also end his feelings for Junmyun. He is waiting for the time that those feelings will go away on itself.  
“I still love him.” Junmyun looked up the building and he didn’t see anything. His eyes blurred with the rain. He smiled at himself. He hated rain. Here’s more to the reason to hate the rain.  
  
Chanyeol was so stunned by the smile on Junmyun’s face. It looked like ‘acceptance’. He didn’t know Junmyun was capable of loving someone like this. Why Junmyun didn’t love him like this? It was a bitter thought.  
“I called taxi for you, it’s here.” Chanyeol needed to take Junmyun home. But he knows Junmyun might want to be alone.  
“Thank you. Is this for the umbrella?”  
  
Chanyeol couldn’t answer. He wanted to say ‘no’. He wanted to declare his ‘feelings’ but what is the point? Junmyun is clearly in love with Sehun. He does not want to force his feelings on Junmyun again.  
So Chanyeol nodded.  
“I’m sorry.” Junmyun said the last time as he close the car door.  
Chanyeol stood in the rain watching the car getting smaller in his sight. He went up when it’s no longer can be seen.  
  
~  
As soon as Chanyeol stepped in, Sehun asked.

“What did he say?” Sehun watched Chanyeol who is completely soak in rain.

“Why would you care?” Chanyeol says without looking at Sehun and he went straight to his room, slamming it shut.

 

Sehun could not understand why he was treated that way when all he did is for Chanyeol. He went to Chanyeol’s door, hitting with his fist.

“I get the revenge for you! You want this or not, I did this for you!”

“You don’t like this? Fine! GO GET BACK WITH HIM OR WHATEVER”

 

Sehun knew he don’t mean this. With the thought of Chanyeol getting back with Junmyun makes his stomach upset.

After that, the door opens. Chanyeol seemed to be drying himself cox he is shirtless.

 

“Really? I can get back with Junmyun?”

“No!”

“You don’t care about him, why does it matter?” Chanyeol smirked at the annoyed expression on Sehun. Chanyeol doubted before but now he knows. Sehun is not that emotionless.

“I care about you, not him. I don’t want you to fall for him again so that he can break your heart.”

“Whatever. I will take care of it. Get out!” Once again, the door was shutted in Sehun’s face. Sehun couldn’t say anything back. He doesn’t like the idea of Chanyeol getting back with Junmyun. He just doesn’t like it.

 

~

 

Sehun is not satisfied with anything. Every little thing annoyed him. He doesn’t get A at the latest quiz in class. He can’t focus. All he think about is that night. He wanted to ask Chanyeol if he meant what he said about getting back to Junmyun. But Sehun knew what will happen if he asked.

It’s like he admit that he cared.

Actually, he did care about Junmyun. But he can’t. After what Chanyeol suffered back then, he couldn’t be happy with Junmyun. He would call himself betrayer if he did that.

 

The coffee shop is not on the way but Sehun always go round about to pass by the shop. He passed quickly so that no one would recognize him. But he always peek inside from far. It’s been 5 days since that night and the shop has been closed.

Sehun couldn’t help but wonder what happened. Isn’t it normal reaction? People do wonder because people have a brilliant thing called ‘mind’. He has it.

Sehun doesn’t know why he is making a justification to think about Junmyun but that’s exactly what he is doing.

 

Sehun knows that he shouldn’t be here, peeking into the window with ‘close’ sign on. He just doesn’t feel good about this dark place. Sehun accidentally pushed the door as he was peeking. Sehun felt the terror as the door wasn’t locked. How could Junmyun be so careless? What if he’s robbed? What if he’s hurt? A lot of what-ifs came to Sehun’s mind as he pushed the door and went insides.

The place is dark but it’s familiar to Sehun. He just went straight to his office. But Sehun stopped. His heart dropped as he saw the small figure lying on the floor with no sign of movement.

“Jun”

Sehun quickly turn the body and saw Suho’s face. It was so white that it scared Sehun.

“Jun… Kim Junmyun!!! Open your eyes!!!” Sehun is now in panic. He yelled at Junmyun’s body. He only wants to know one thing. He put his ears on Junmyun’s chest and listen. He felt so relieved when he heard the small sound of heart beats. He quickly picked Junmyun in his hands.

“I’m taking you to hospital. Just, hang on.” Sehun murmured to Junmyun even though he can’t hear Sehun.

 

It was a torture trip to hospital. Junmyun is out. Every time Junmyun’s lips moved to say something, Sehun’s anxiety gets worse. He hates how pale Junmyun looks right now. He hates he didn’t check on him earlier. Sehun felt his hands and feet frozen when he thought what if he never checked on him. Sehun couldn’t help but blame himself.

There’s a big chance that he could be the reason behind this.

Sehun couldn’t shake the guilt off his chest when he reached the hospital and when they are shouting medical gibberish. The guilt stabbed him like a sharp knife when one of the doctors said his breathing is getting poor.

He never felt this useless before standing in front of Junmyun’s bed not being able to do anything for him.

 

But everyone clears out. One of the doctor approached him for patient information but he knows nothing.

“I’m just a passerby. I don’t know him. I’m sorry.”

 

Sehun left the hospital. He gave Chanyeol a call because he doesn’t know what to do.

“What’s wrong? Are you running?”

Sehun was running out of breath. He doesn’t even realize he has been crying till he try to speaks. He can’t speak.

“Hyung…”

“Sehun? What happened?”

“I am… Junmyun is hospitalized.”

“What? Where are you right now?” Sehun knows Chanyeol is already sitting up. He quickly told him the hospital. He tried to stop crying but he can’t. He doesn’t know what he said on the phone and or what he said when Chanyeol arrived.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. All my fault. All my fault.”

Sehun remembered apologizing to Chanyeol. He was sent home. He is not in his right mind. His head is filled with memories of Junmyun. How Junmyun used to smile at him and his jokes. How they used to cuddle after sex. All those sweet memories are haunting him. Sehun can’t get up from wherever he is.

It is dark.

It doesn’t matter if it were day because all he see is darkness around him.

He looked up when the door opened.

 

“Junmyun is okay.” Chanyeol speaks as soon as he met eyes with Junmyun.

“The doctor says he was dehydrated and malnourishment but they are giving him a lot of injections.” Chanyeol sit just next to Sehun.

 

“How did you find him?”

Sehun shook his head. He couldn’t answer. Not because he’s afraid to let Chanyeol knows of his feelings for Junmyun. But because he is afraid to go back to that moment. It was the most terrified moment of his life. The image of Junmyun lying on the floor, white and lifeless is… the one thing he never want to see again.

“Doctors said, you found him late two more days and he’s goner. Don’t be hard on yourself. You did good.”

Sehun shook his head again. This time in denial.

All I did is harm him. Hurt him.

 

Sehun buried his face in his hand. He is not ready to face anything.

“Did you leave him alone in the hospital?” Sehun stood up so abruptly. He forgot he hadn’t eaten anything today and he wobbled.

“Sehun” Chanyeol is there to catch Sehun. But there was no one to catch Junmyun when he fall.

“I’m fine! I’m fine!” Sehun pushed Chanyeol away and he tried to support himself against the wall.

 

“I need to go to hospital.”

“Kris is there.”

 

The name alone is enough to stop Sehun. All the things come back to him bits by bits. He now has to accept that he has no place in Junmyun life after everything he did to him.

Sehun just nodded.

Of course, if Junmyun needs someone, it’s going to be Kris. Not him. Not him.

“I am going there tomorrow. Do you want to come with me?”

A single light of hope passed through Sehun’s eyes but it disappeared fast.

Sehun shook his head again, in defeat this time.

 

~

“You scared me, you know? How are you feeling right now?”

“All good.” Junmyun smiles softly at worried and careful Kris. It’s good to see Kris. He wanted to apologize to him.

 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you and the shop like this. It was so irresponsible of me. Jun… I’m sorry.” Kris held Junmyun’s hand in his own. He closed his eyes, put Junmyun’s hand against his cheek. When Kris heard about Junmyun, he was sleeping. He couldn’t believe he was sleeping peacefully, unbothered and soundly.

His whole world shook at the news. And he saw Chanyeol by Junmyun’s side. His heart breaks all over again.

 

“Don’t say sorry. It should be me.”

“No. Junmyun…”

“Kris, listen. I don’t mean it. I don’t want you to mind your own business, okay? I was stressed so I take it out on you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I could never blame you.” Kris patted on Junmyun’s soft hair. 0

He was going to ask what happened with Sehun but someone came in.

 

“Chanyeol, come in.” Junmyun quickly smiled at the tall man who just came in. He knows the name. He’s familiar with it.

“You good? Color seemed to be returned on your face.” Chanyeol doesn’t have the extra chair to sit. The only spare one is being used by Kris.

Kris knew he’s supposed to give it to Chanyeol and leave them alone but, he doesn’t want to. He just outright neglect Chanyeol to avoid giving up his chair.

“Just sit on the bed, I don’t mind.” Junmyun noticed the awkward Chanyeol standing there so tall.

 

Kris regretted not giving up his chair. Looking down at Junmyun while sitting on the same bed sounded like a good position.

Good if it’s him. Bad if it’s Chanyeol.

“You guys talk. I will come back later.” Kris excused himself. Gesturing Chanyeol to sit on his hair. But it was Chanyeol’s turn to neglect Kris. Kris rolled his eyes as he left the door.

 

“How did you find me?”

As soon as the door closed behind Kris, Junmyun asked Chanyeol. Junmyun doubted that it could not be Chanyeol that take him to hospital. He just… know.

“It’s not me. It was Sehun.”

It was just a confirmation. In his heart, Junmyun knew. It is definitely Sehun who saved him.

“Please forgive Sehun. Sehun is just… he is just stupid.”

“I know. I know what I feel, Chanyeol. I love him and he loves me. Even if I’m blinded by love, I am not blind at how Sehun looked at me, how he treated me. It’s just that… I didn’t understand him.”

“Trust me, he’s hard to understand. We have been brothers for his whole life and I don’t get what he is thinking.” Chanyeol agrees with Junmyun.

 

“But I wish you two to end up together.”

“I am not chasing him. I am done chasing him, Chanyeol.” Junmyun is suddenly sad. The days he went through, calling Sehun, texting Sehun, begging and begging. He’s done with all that. Even if he can’t live without Sehun, he has to live. What can he do if Sehun doesn’t want to be with him?

“He blamed himself a lot.”

“That… that was on me too. He doesn’t have to put the blame on himself alone.”

“He doesn’t think like that. He is in a lot worse condition than you.”

“What happened?” Junmyun is now worried. It’s about the man he loves afterall.

“He doesn’t wanna talk to me. I was hoping if… if you can talk to him?”

 

“Junmyun?” Chanyeol knows he is asking something he shouldn’t but… he must try.

“I don’t know, Chanyeol.” Junmyun doesn’t know how to reply to Chanyeol. It’s true that he’s worried about Sehun but he does not think he could face Sehun.

“Please, think about it.”

 

“Are you going?” Junmyun asked when Chanyeol stood up.

“Don’t look at me like that. I might… I might do things to you.” Chanyeol came close to Junmyun.

“What?” Junmyun was surprised to see this old Chanyeol.

“So, I’m saying goodbye. Get well soon.” Chanyeol smiled softly as he ruffled Junmyun’s hair. He doesn’t mean to do just this. Chanyeol doesn’t know if he kissed Junmyun, he could be able to handle the consequences, from Junmyun or of his heart.

So, Chanyeol left.

He just turned his back on the past.

He made peace with the past.

 

~

Chanyeol can’t stay still anymore. Sehun is rotting in his room if he doesn’t do anything right now.

“Are you not going out?”

Sehun ignored him. It’s nothing new because Sehun had been ignoring him for the past week. At this point, Sehun is living together with instant noodle and beer bottles and his ugly facial hair.

“Right, you’re ugly now so you can’t go out.”

 

Sehun is playing freaking video game and Chanyeol can’t stand the sight. He knows he blamed himself for what happened to Junmyun but blaming himself wouldn’t change a thing.

“We are going out! Shower! Shave and look decent!” Chanyeol said and close the door.

He put his ears against the door to check if Sehun listened to him. It could be a miracle if Sehun actually listened to him.

“OH SE HUN!!!”

Chanyeol opened the door again. But he doesn’t see Sehun.

“Sehun?”

Chanyeol stepped into the room and put his ear on the bathroom door again. He hear the shower running.

 

“Ha!”

Miracles do happen.

 

Chanyeol went back to his room with pleased expression. He immediately give a text to Junmyun. He knew Junmyun discharged from hospital yesterday.

Chanyeol had a big smile on him when he come out of his room and fetched Sehun.

“Hey!!! Handsome.”

Sehun’s hair is a big long but his facial hair is gone. Sehun just done blow drying his hair and ready to go out.

“Where are we going?” Sehun asked. He is planning to go along with Chanyeol for an hour and then get his way again for weeks. Chanyeol had been really annoying the past week.

“Let’s eat out. I’m hungry.”

“I’m not.”

“Come on, you need to eat something not instant.”

 

Sehun rolled his eyes and wear a snapback. His hair is long and it’s bothering his eyes.

 

“I am thinking Thai.”

“Whatever. We eat and we go home. No second plan, okay?”

“Thai it is!”

Sehun suspiciously looked at Chanyeol. When did Chanyeol get this happy? Has something happened to him?

 

Sehun didn’t think much. He just went along with Chanyeol. Then just before they went into the restaurant, his eyes met with the couple that is coming from the opposite side of the road.

It just happened. His eyes are glued with Junmyun’s eyes. Both of them stopped walking. Chanyeol also stopped as he looked at Kris with unbelievable look.

“Kris?”

Sehun saw Kris. He’s hard to miss but his misses Junmyun so much and he couldn’t waste a second of his eyes on other person.

Chanyeol couldn’t believe Kris tag along. Chanyeol must sacrifice himself for Sehun and he quickly went over to Kris.

 

“You and I need to talk.”

“What? Nevermind. I have nothing to talk.”

“No way. I have lots. Let’s give them some privacy.” Chanyeol made sure it’s only Kris who heard the last sentence.

“You set this up?” Kris is not collaborating. A pain-in-ass.

“Come on. You don’t want to know.” Chanyeol just dragged Kris out of the way. He didn’t say anything to either of Junmyun or Sehun because it simply didn’t need to. Chanyeol had seen. The way Junmyun’s eyes changed when he saw Sehun. And Chanyeol had noticed. The way Sehun’s stance became nervous with Junmyun’s presence.

They just need a push.

And Chanyeol is willing to be ‘the push’ they needed.

 

Sehun doesn’t even know how his legs move. When he noticed, he is right in front of Junmyun. His height hoovering Junmyun a little.

“How are you?”

“I’m good.”

There’s this big ice between them. But Junmyun’s smile seemed to make it warm a little. Sehun doesn’t know how could Junmyun smiled to him, after all he did to Junmyun.

 

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“But you did.”

 

Sharp. Painful. It was a direct hit. Junmyun’s eyes are not cold. They are a little wet but they seemed sad and glad and full of emotions.

“I forgive you.”

 

Sehun stared at Junmyun with shock.

“What?”

“I lost track of time that day. My head was spinning so I couldn’t get up. I should have called someone but all I could think of was you. I tried to go to hospital by myself but I guess I lost conscious. And you found me. Thank you, Sehun.”

“But if I…”  
“Why are you there that day? At my cafe?”

 

Sehun opened his mouth. Because I miss you. Because I was worried about you. Sehun couldn’t say those words. He closed his mouth again.

“I just passed by.”

“You are worried about me.” Junmyun’s smile returned. This time, it’s teasing.

 

Sehun smiled at this new turn.

“Why are you asking when you knew already?”

 

Junmyun took those steps between them. He destroyed that big ice between them with his small, tiny steps. He went in for a hug. Sehun just realized he missed Junmyun so much. This little hug. And the soft smell from Junmyun’s hair.

And how their bodies fit each other.

“I miss you.” Junmyun said, his voice tremble.

“Junmyun…”

“Don’t… Don’t push me away.” Junmyun’s hug tightened. Sehun noticed Junmyun is crying. He couldn’t help but hug him back. His hand on Junmyun’s head, trying to comfort the crying man.

 

At the moment, both of them forgot that they are in public. They forgot there are people getting passed by. They neglect and ignored. For them, they are the only ones in their own little world.

“I am sorry. I am sorry for misunderstanding you. I am sorry for approaching you with intentions. Junmyun, I love you.”

“What?” Junmyun looked up, pulling himself a little from Sehun.

“I realized it so late. When I saw you on the floor, I thought I lost you. I thought… I…”

 

Sehun got cut off by Junmyun. Their lips sealed. Sehun was a little awkward as Junmyun brought him down to kiss him.

“It’s not late to admit now. Do you love me?” Junmyun was a little breathless. He missed Sehun so much. He loves Sehun so much.

“It seemed like you already know. I love you, so much. I doubt you already know that too. It’s hard to miss, really.”

“I don’t know. One minute, I felt like you are not into me. And another, you are saying you love me.”

This time, Sehun stopped talking. He kissed Junmyun softly, passionately, trying to let him know of his feeling.

“Do you believe me now that I love you?” Both of them are now deprived of oxygen and a little breathless. Junmyun stared into Sehun’s deep eyes. He knows what he felt.

“I don’t know.”

Sehun grabbed Junmyun’s waist and pulled him to the corner of the road.

 

“You still don’t know?” There’s a glint in Sehun’s eyes now.

“Show me more.” Junmyun is now heated. He wants more of Sehun. The corner is well shaded even though there’s a risk of other people seeing. Junmyun doesn’t care.

“Tell me what you want.” It is a whisper against his ears. Junmyun felt the tingles are all over his arms and skin. He doesn’t want teasing, he want his kiss. A breathless, scandalous kiss.

 

“Kiss me.”

“Yeah?”

“Kiss me, Sehun.” Junmyun tried to pull Sehun’s face but his hands were restrained by Sehun.

“No, no… don’t move.” Sehun leveled himself with Junmyun, his forehead almost touching Junmyun’s.

“What are you gonna do?” Junmyun smiled. His anticipation grows.

Sehun’s touch was solid. There’s love, indefinite amount of love. There’s want, intoxicating amount of want. Junmyun wasn’t kissed like this before. It made him feel sexier. Sehun made him feel this way.

 

“Shouldn’t we go somewhere… more private?” Junmyun said, needing something more than just kisses and teasing on skin.

“Should we? Or do you wanna grab something to eat?”

“Screw food. I want you.” Junmyun never felt this eager before. He felt like a horny teenager, trying to find release.

Sehun chuckled.

“I was hoping you say that.”

 

They grabbed taxi and head home.

 

“Why are they coming out from there? Where are they going?” Kris demands trying to break off Chanyeol’s arms.

“Can’t you say by their expressions?” Chanyeol stopped pulling Kris back as Sehun and Junmyun got into the cab, heading for what lord knows.

“What expressions?”

“Really? Both of them looked like kitten in heat, trying to find ‘privacy’.”

“Crazy bastard.”

“Do you like Junmyun?”

That made him Kris looked at Chanyeol who is quite tall. He’s so used to looking down at someone because of his tall height but Chanyeol is not taller but same level as him.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Kris immediately looked away. Chanyeol’s stare burned on him. It’s like he knows before he asked.

“It’s okay. I used to be in love with him.” It’s not news for Kris.

“You were pretty in bad shape when Jun broke up with you, I heard.”

“Well, I guess, time heals.” Chanyeol smiled when he said that.

“Is it really?” Kris was really curious. Because it felt like the feeling is going to stay forever.

“Yeah. Wait and see, time heals everything.”

 

Kris doesn’t know but he felt like he should trust Chanyeol.


	3. Playlist

 

 

 

[YOUTUBE PLAYLIST (with trans)](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhzYdhDTVy3oY5a7SZwfBKrCCw-SqRzsO)

 

**WHAT DID I SAY (뭐랬어) - SUNGGYU**

> What did I say  
>  Didn’t I say there wouldn’t be anyone else like me?
> 
> So why’d you leave me that day?
> 
> It’s late  
>  It’s too late  
>  We came too far to go back

 

**BUT, ARE YOU? (괜찮냐고) - HEIZE**

> But I want to hear your answer  
>  Are you alright?  
>  Can you live without me?  
>  Even if you miss me, you won’t be able to see me  
>  Even if you wanna hold me, you won’t be able to  
>  Even if you wanna hear my voice, you’ll have to hold it in  
>  Are you alright with that?

 

**NOTHING I CAN DO (보낼 수밖에) - PENTAGON**

> Everything was just an act  
>  All those times were just a sweet dream  
>  I smile but tears fall  
>  Like a stapler to my heart  
>  I know it’s too late to regret

 

**SUDDEN SHOWER - JUNHYUNG**

> I’m becoming a mess, drunk and falling  
>  This love is gone but it still breaks me down  
>  How much longer can I endure this?  
>  Will light ever enter my darkened heart?

**Author's Note:**

> so it is also available on AFF (https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1341904)


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